Mommy and Kendall day

Last Friday I took a day off from work because Aidan had a doctor's appointment in the morning. I decided to make the day 'mommy and Aidan day.' I took Aidan trampolining afterwards and it was just a great day. Today was your 18-month checkup so I thought I would do the same- take a day off and make it 'mommy and Kendall day.' However, it didn't quite turn out the way I wanted it to be. First off, you were sick and just cranky in general. It didn't help that you hate going to the doctors. As soon as the doctor told me to take off your clothes to weigh you, you started crying hysterically. The doctor couldn't even check your tonsils and check your hips because you were that bad. When the doctor checked your ears she noticed that you had quite a build-up of wax and you were actually suffering from an ear infection. Oh brother… She ended up not giving you your shots (because you were sick) and she told me to come back in a week. I hate when that happens! It was so stressful being there that by the time I left I was sweating like a madman. I couldn't even take down your measurements because it was that stressful. I think you weighed just over 9 kg. 

I wanted to take you to get your first haircut because your hair has been an unruly mess ever since you were born. I wanted the hair stylist to trim down your sides and just clean up your hair. However, because of your bad experience at the doctors office, you were just in a terrible mood and didn't want anything to do with getting your hair cut. I had to change position a million times to get the stylist to trim your hair. And your hair cut turned out to be a total disaster! You looked like a boy. You also had a bruise on your right cheek from falling on a table in our basement last night so imagine how bad you looked. I had planned on doing a little shopping afterwards (I wanted to pick up a few craft items for making your Valentine's Day cards this year) and maybe go for a nice mommy and daughter lunch, but the stress of the day just made me want to go home and crash. I ended up just going home, putting you down for a nap and cleaning the house. Not a nice way to spend a day off!

This was you passed out in the car after your doctors appointment. I would be too if I screamed for 20 minutes
straight. You were so upset that you actually peed on the doctor and farted on her while she was checking
your hips.

And this is your new haircut. Totally awful, no? The stylist gave you blunt bangs and didn't trim much
off of the sides. I can picture this cute if you had long hair, but now you just look like a North Korean boy.

Ms Helmut Head

Shock and heart break

It's been such an emotional roller coaster today.

It started off the way it usually starts on a Monday- hectic. I was trying to get you out of the house to drop you off at daycare and because I was running late and you were more clingy than usual, I was annoyed. I yelled at you right before I dropped you off at school.

I was at a photo shoot today for work and round 10:30am I got a call from your daycare. Anytime they call me, I get nervous. I guess it's because anytime they call me, it's to tell me that you got hurt. This time, they told me that you had fallen outside while at recess and your mouth was bleeding. Apparently you were going to your friend, Mateo, and I guess you tripped on the slide and smashed your face on the concrete. I asked the teacher that I was talking to on the phone to check your teeth to see if your teeth were okay. She told me that she didn't know because there was a lot of blood, but that you were okay and they were just icing your mouth. I just recall that the whole time that we were talking, the thing that struck me was just how calm the teacher was. I don't know if it's because she didn't know the extent of your injury or that she didn't want me to freak out. Because of how calm she was, I didn't know how badly injured you were. I told the teacher I would call back in an hour during my lunch break to check up on you again. When I called back, I asked them how you were doing and they said you were doing well and that you were eating eating (soup). I asked them to check your teeth again (I guess they didn't check it since I last spoke!) and they asked me, "Are Aidan's teeth crooked?" Immediately I said, "No!" I started panicking at this point because they were telling me that I might have to take you to the dentist. I told them I couldn't leave at that moment because I was in the middle of a shoot, but that I would come as soon as I could. Even then, I didn't hear a sense of worry from the teacher about your condition. Honestly, I didn't think your accident was that bad, judging from what they were telling me. When I was finally able to get away (around 3pm) I just rushed out of the shoot to go to you. It took me just over an hour to get to your daycare and when I ran in, you were sitting on a chair. The first thing I noticed was that you were talking with a lisp. I asked you to open your mouth and I was shocked! Your 2 front teeth were jammed in and one tooth was chipped. Tears started welling in my eyes and I just started dressing you right away to leave. I was so furious. The daycare teachers started surrounding me and saying that I had to take you to the dentist. And their voice sounded really concerned- totally different than what they were before. I just felt that they were judging me for coming so late. I mean, it was them that made the situation feel lighter than it actually was! Then one of the teacher started telling me that Aidan's boots were really worn out on the sole and that several times he was on the verge of falling. Why didn't they tell me this before??? I just felt that they were trying to direct the blame back onto me. I just wanted to get the hell out of there. When I got you into the car, I was frantically calling your pediatric dentist to see if they could see you ASAP, but they weren't picking up. I eventually called my dentist to see if he could see you. Luckily he was able to. When my dentist saw you, he said you were probably going to lose 2 of your front teeth, but he didn't want to pull it out in case your pediatric dentist could do something to possibly save the teeth. He got his receptionist to keep calling your pediatric dentist to get them to see you for tomorrow and eventually she was able to get through to them. We will be seeing your pediatric dentist tomorrow at 1:30pm. By the time you got home you were famished. My dentist told me to just give you soup and soft foods so I made a big pot of chicken noodle soup and you ate 3 servings! When daddy got home, he was so angry! I had wrapped the daycare teachers' presents the day before and he told me not to give it to them. 

This experience has been a total nightmare. I just feel sick to my stomach because I know if you were home with me, this would have never happened. I just feel guilty that I wasn't able to prevent this from happening and that I wasn't able to leave work to see you right away. I'm sorry I was mad at you this morning. I'm just so sorry. So sorry…

At my dentist waiting for the dentist to examine your injured teeth. Even through this whole ordeal,
you were a trooper. You didn't even cry and several times you asked me why I was crying.

You were so hungry when we got home from the dentist that you had 3 bowls of soup! You don't
normally have a huge appetite so this really saddened and shocked me.

Mom sal (translated from Korean, meaning body ache)

What a day I had! I experienced the little monsters to the extreme today :-S

I took a day off today because Kendall had her 15-month checkup today at 9:45am. I decided to just take a day off and spend time with Kendall (since I hardly see her during the work week). 

I dropped you off at daycare in the morning with Kendall and it was all fine. Kendall was surprisingly pretty good when I first got to the doctor's office. It's always very stressful when it's the checkup appointment because the doctor measures everything and the appointment usually involves getting shots. As soon as I took off Kendall's shoes, she started crying uncontrollably. I couldn't even get her to calm down even when I gave her veggie chips. Every single thing that the doctor told me to do- take of Kendall's clothes (to weigh her), hold her down (to measure her length), open her mouth (to check the back of her mouth), hold her head (to see inside her ears), etc. involved a fight. At one point, Kendall was kicking the doctors upper body while the doctor was trying to see inside her mouth. Kendall was crying to much that it took a good 15 minutes for the doctor to see her pupils- her eyes were closed shut crying. By the time it was all over I was in a ball of sweat and Kendall got the hiccups from crying so much. 

Here's where she is at right now:

Weight: 8.32kg or 18.34lbs (down from 8.37kg last time)

Head circumference: 44 cm (same as last time)

Height: 74cm (up from 70cm last time) 

And the bad news? Kendall lost weight and because she was experiencing diarrhea, the doctor couldn't administer the vaccination shots. The doctor told me I would have to come back in 2 weeks to give Kendall her shots. AND, she will most likely be weighing her again since the doctor was concerned about Kendall's weight. ACK! I'm definitely not looking forward to the follow-up appointment. 

When I got out of the appointment, daddy had texted me saying that he was leaving work early and meeting us at the doctor's office. We ended up having a nice lunch and doing errands- grocery shopping and picking up prescription medication (Kendall had an ear infection). I can't wait for the day when I can just do… nothing. No running errands, not making dinner, not picking up kids, not grocery shopping, the list goes on and on. I didn't realize being a parent was SO HARD.

Here's Kendall walking with daddy after the doctor's appointment. You wouldn't know it from this video that just a few minutes before she was a crying mess.

I guess all the crying made Kendall pass out in the car. She almost never sleeps in the car. She actually fell asleep holding onto her veggie chips. Aigoo, aigoo.

We stopped by a ramen place to have a quick bite to eat. Look how cute you are!

Drinking water, all by herself.

Such a good eater… That's why it puzzles me that you lost weight. I was sure you gained weight.

Waiting for more food.

Pretty Kendall.

So by the time everything was done and we got home, it was close to 3pm and time to pick up the original monster- monster 1. Tonight was your daycare's Halloween party so I wanted to make sure you got a bath, ate dinner and had time to change into your costume before heading out. You were looking forward to this party for a whole week now so I thought you would be loving it. Or so I thought…

The Halloween party was at a high school and the teachers converted the whole main floor into a
Halloween-themed room. It was AMAZING!

They had stations set up for activities. 

I present you Iron Man!
I don't know if the new environment made you anxious, but you were quiet, clingy and just not
looking like you were enjoying yourself. When teachers walked by and said hi to you, you just
turned away and said nothing. I hate that!

More of the Halloween decor.

There were close to 500 people at the party. 

All the teachers dressed up in costumes. It was pretty cool.

And the best part of this party? Why, it was the entertainment, of course! They had hired Bounce Entertainment and they were soooooo good! All the kids were on the dance floor dancing like crazy. I was so impressed and I thought you would be all over it seeing that they were playing all the songs that you knew on the radio and I know how much you love to dance. However, you just stood there sulking and you didn't do anything. I think you were the only kid that didn't dance. I kept encouraging you to have a good time, but you were so clingy to me. Eventually you loosened up a bit and actually danced a little bit, but not much. You decided in the end that you wanted to go back to the activity tables and we did some of that, but when the party drew to a close you started throwing a huge tantrum because you didn't want to leave. You actually ran away and when I didn't follow you, you came back and hit me! I was so angry! I tried putting on your jacket and your tantrums got even bigger. I couldn't even get it on and by that time you were screaming and crying. All the parents were looking at me and I was so embarrassed. By the time we got to the car I was about to explode. I screamed at you all the way home. I'm so upset that you aren't like the other kids and it frustrates me that maybe it's something I'm doing wrong. Why is it that you don't say hi to people? Why are you such a snob?? Why do you go crazy when things aren't going your way? Every single thing has to be a challenge for me. I constantly have to think of ways to get you to move onto another thing because once you get into something, it's like you are in a trance. 

When we got home, I was so mad that I didn't even want to see you. I told daddy what had happened and he got so mad. He tried to put you in time out, but that obviously doesn't work with you. Daddy gave you so much memme. I took a quick video of when you are in your tantrum stage. 

How can a boy so cute by so… BAD?!

I really don't know what to do with you. You can make me so mad!

What started off as a nice morning- you playing with spoons (I know, you're weird…) and singing The Wheels on the Bus turned into a nightmare of a day. I really didn't think you were going to have a tantrum when I took you to hip hop class because you've been to several classes now and it's been pretty good, but I should have known better. I realize that I have to constantly talk to you so that you don't suddenly turn a 180… 

We got to the community centre a little early so we were watching the kids by the swimming pool. We always pass the swimming pool area when we are heading to your hip hop class. You kept saying, "Mommy, how come you never take me swimming. I want to go swimming…" I took a mental note to sign you up for swimming classes in January, once your hip hop class is over. I guess the longer you stayed with me, made you more clingy and just not wanting to go. When I told you it was time to start heading to your class, you started whining and saying how you didn't want to go. I tried taking off your jacket and you freaked out. I just started walking ahead telling you to follow me. You started screaming at me and you actually charged at me and hit me. I was shocked and embarrassed as there were a lot of parents milling around waiting for the hip hop class to start. I was so mad that I started grabbing your arm and talking to you sternly (I would have yelled at the top of my lungs if we were alone). You were just flailing your arms and just screaming. I thought once the teacher came out of the class to take you guys in you would calm down, but no. You were not consolable. I dragged you into your class and tried to get you to stand up, but I couldn't. All the other kids were being distracted by your screaming/crying so I told the teachers that I couldn't put you in this week. All my energy was put into getting you to calm down that I forgot your water bottle in your class. By this time I was fuming and so angry that I just started screaming at you in the parking lot. When we got to the car I just yelled at you nonstop. I was so angry that you couldn't be like the other kids in your class, angry that you didn't go to your class when I had paid for it, angry that you never listen and angry that I forgot your water bottle. 

I know it doesn't seem like it, but this was you before the whole tantrum fiasco. It's like a switch.
One minute you're such a sweet boy, and the next a little devil.

I was so angry when I got home that I just didn't want to deal with you. I literally threw you down in bed and forced you to take your nap time.

I was so angry at daddy too because he never takes you on Saturday mornings to dance class. It's always me. I never spend time with Kendall because I'm always with you. I think daddy just doesn't want to deal with you sometimes. I just am hoping and praying that this is just a phase and it will pass…

The only thing that made my day a little brighter was when Kendall smiled and played with me.

What a strange, strange boy…

While we were shopping at Galleria you wanted your Vancouver grandma to change shopping carts with me. You were initially sitting in the cart that she was pushing while I was pushing Kendall. I thought you wanted me to push you because you were getting jealous of me pushing Kendall, but I soon figured why you wanted us to switch. You wanted me to take you to the home aisle. You and your grandma sometime have a hard time communicating with each other because you only speak English and she speaks mostly Korean. Sometimes she can't understand what you are saying. Well, you wanted me to take you to the home aisle because you had spotted a garbage can on the shelves. You had mentioned to me in the past that you didn't have a garbage can in your toy kitchen area. I guess when you saw it at Galleria today you wanted me to buy it for you. I would have bought it for you, but it was over $10. There was no way I was paying $10 for the garbage can when I could get it at the dollar store. I told you firmly that I couldn't get it for you because it was too expensive and you started crying. I eventually calmed you down promising that I would take you to another store to buy you a garbage can. I figured you might forget on the way home and that would be the end of that. You even took a nap on the drive home. I was sure you would forget. Boy, was I wrong! As soon as we got home and I carried you in the house you started wailing how I didn't go to the "other store" to get you the garbage can. I was shocked that you wanted the garbage can that badly. I told your grandma we would be back and you and I went to the dollar store to get you your garbage can. 

I now reveal the garbage that I got you.

Ta da! It was $1.25 and you chose the colour. 

You were so happy that you got your garbage can. You wanted to play downstairs in the basement as soon as we got home. After playing for a while, you turned to me and said- "Mommy, but I don't have a garbage truck…" Oh boy! There was a garbage truck that you were obsessed with at Asher and Austin's house and you've been asking for that as well. It looks like that will be my next item on my list to get you. Who asks for a garbage can/truck???

No. 2 fiasco

You and mommy went to Wonderland this morning to go to Splash Works. We met my friends, YJ and Justine and their kids there. It was a sweltering and humid day so we thought it would be perfect to spend the day at the water park. Everything was going well- we went in the baby pool and the Lazy River. Afterwards we were all sitting by the kiddie pool and eating lunch. I had just breastfed you and you were sitting on my lap eating strawberries. Suddenly you started squirming and trying to stand up. I lifted you up and to my horror I saw a bit pile of poop on my crotch area where you had just been sitting. Your poop must have seeped through your swimming diapers and bathing suit and landed on my lap! I was so disgusted and shocked at the same time. I didn't know what to do. YJ, thankfully, started acting fast. She grabbed wipes and started wiping me down. I stood up after we got most of the poop out of my bathing suit and yours and when I looked down at the chair I realized that you had pooped even more and it had seeped through the chair and landed on the ground! There was also a puddle of pee below the chair! YJ just started scooping poop off the ground. I rushed you to the washroom nearby and started stripping you down to change your diaper. The park was so busy so the washroom was packed with people. Some girls looked at me disgustedly while I changed your dirty diaper. After taking a quick shower (while YJ held you) I changed back to my regular clothes and decided that I would head home to take a proper shower. I also wanted to give you a bath. 

I know I'm going to be laughing about this in the future, but I'm still so grossed out by the whole incident. Well, I thought that was the end with the poop fiasco, but no… there is more… Your brother was going No. 2 in the evening and while he was wiping his bum, some of the tissue got in the toilet and splashed onto me. I got bum water all over me! ARGH!

Beyond annoyed

I got a call this afternoon from Dahn Restaurant- the venue where we were going to have your 1-year birthday party. They said that they sold their business so they cannot host your birthday party anymore. Why are they telling me this now??? This was after I spoke to them on the phone LAST WEEK about my reservation. Now I have to scramble to find another place. The Evite's been sent and I planned all the decoration with the venue in mind. Ugh!

Candyland fiasco

What a tough tough day…

What started off as a promising day turned out into a disaster.

My friend YJ and I decided that we would take our kids to Candyland- an indoor playground that she's been raving about. It was perfect since it was supposed to rain all day. We also decided to invite our other friend, Jenn and her 3 kids. 

We went at 10:30am and right away, I was loving the set-up and how kid-friendly it was. It was also so CLEAN. I thought you would be excited right away because there were so many things to see and to play with, but you were so shy and clung to me. Asher and Austin were running around trying to play with everything, but you were looking so disinterested. I tried to warm you up by introducing you to all the fun things that they had. Eventually you started opening up and getting excited. Then you found the arcade games… There was one video game in particular that you were really attached to- a shooting game. It's weird, but you seem to love shooting games. Even at Canada's Wonderland your favourite ride is Boo Blaster- a ride where you shoot ghosts and haunted things with a gun. I thought you would get tired of playing the shooting game after a while, but once you get in your zone it's hard to get you do anything else. I asked you several times that your friends were playing in the basketball/soccer zone and that you should join them, but you yelled at me that you weren't interested. I was not impressed. I had to go back to the sitting area because I had to feed Kendall. I was hoping you would tire of the game and move onto something else. 

While I was feeding Kendall, YJ told me that it wasn't good that you were only playing that one shooting game. She's also anti-gun. I agreed with her and she told me she would try to get you to play something else (even if it meant she had to be firm with you). Next thing I know, I hear you screaming and crying. I think YJ tried to get you to do something else and you lost it on her. She tried to remove you from the video game and you were screaming/crying while trying to slap her at the same time. You kept crying out, "She a BAD girl!" I was shocked. I know how bad your tantrums are, but this was BAD. I made YJ switch with me while I took you off to a corner to discipline you. You were trying to run back to the video game so I just grabbed you and took you to the sitting area. You were so mad that you screamed out loud in frustration. You actually made several moms (my friend, Jenn included) jump. I was mortified, but I eventually calmed you down. I'm always very firm with you when I talk to you, but I try to eventually sway my tone to a nicer tone because I notice that if I yell at you you yell at me back. Once I start talking to you in a nicer way you come around. 

I thought that was going to be the end of the tantrum fiasco, but it was not meant to be. You had another blowout near the end of the day. You were playing in a play house and an older girl tried to get in and I think you didn't want her coming into the house. I was sitting in the sitting area and all I saw was you hitting the older girl while crying hysterically. The girl wasn't doing anything. She wasn't even hitting you back. I think she was more shocked than anything at your crazy outbursts. I ran over and asked the girl if she was just trying to get in the house and she nodded yes. You were just screaming/crying saying, "She a bad girl!" That's when I lost it. I took you to a corner and started yelling at you. I was so angry that you were trying to blame everyone for your bad behaviour. I think you cried for a good 20 minutes. I think all the parents there were thinking how bad you were. Some of them even gave me a sympathetic look. It was so stressful that I cried in front of YJ. She was trying to tell me that it was ok. She said all I could do was to pray extra hard for you. She also went through (and still is going through) a hard time with her son Asher. I was so appreciative that she didn't judge me because I know how some parents judge the parents if the kid is acting up. I think you felt bad when I started crying because you calmed down a lot. 

Let's just say I didn't stay much longer after that. By the time we got home I was so exhausted from all the yelling. I told daddy all about what happened and he was quite shocked. Well, I thought that was the end of that, but again, you did something bad. You called Kendall S-T-U-P-I-D when daddy was changing her diaper. I don't even know where you learned that word, but you are starting to curse now. Daddy was so angry that you said that word to her so he started yelling at you. You had another tantrum bout. Daddy was so angry that he decided to put you to bed- at 6:30pm. You fell asleep crying. I seriously don't know what to do with you. I'm so sad because you are so bad when you are bad. Is it something we are doing that is causing you to not listen to us? Are we bad parents???

Candyland. The owner is actually Korean and goes to our church.

You were so happy when we first entered, but it was all downhill from there…

Kendall- she was soooooo good.

The sitting area where the moms hung out.

The Choi boys were going wild trying to play with everything.

Anti-social Aidan at the beginning :-/

Kendall was happy riding all the cars that they had.

They had tons and tons of stuff to play with.

You playing.

Kendall in her princess car.

I took this video below of you in the morning when you were in a better mood.

Rant

I'm beyond annoyed.

My boss emailed me on Monday while I was at Canada's Wonderland with you and Kendall and she made it sound like there was an emergency. I hate when she does that. She always makes me worried that something happened to our magazine and that I no longer have a job. Well, it turns out that it wasn't an emergency. She just wanted me to work on a new logo for the magazine. Apparently her bosses want the magazine to be redesigned for the September issue. There's nothing wrong with that, but she wants me to work on it NOW… Now, while I'm still on mat leave… and she's not paying me…

Does she not realize I have 2 kids at home with me 2 days a week and I have no child care help???

At least pay me then. She is crazy. It's because she doesn't have kids. She doesn't seem to understand that kids are a big responsibility. I don't just sit at home with tons of time on my hands. Kendall is a handful now. She always wants me to play with her and she's moving around a lot. She doesn't like being in her playpen anymore. 

They even sent me a laptop yesterday (BTW, I had to sit at home waiting for the laptop to come the whole day) so that I can start working. This is just insane. It's totally illegal and she can get in a lot of trouble from HR by doing this. Her reasoning is that she wants me to get a head start on it because when I return to work in August I will be in the thick of things. Ugh. I am so not looking forward to going back to work…

Wonderland with the Choi boys

Mommy's friend, YJ, decided that if the weather was good today we would take our kids to Canada's Wonderland. She also has a season's pass.

The weather turned out to be gorgeous. It's so nice spending the day outside and not cooped up in the house.

I didn't tell you that we were going until the last minute because if plans change you get really upset. You were so excited when I told you that we were going with Asher and Austin.

It was my first time taking both of you so I was nervous, but I knew YJ would help me out.

Heading to Planet Snoopy.

I was pretty upset with you because even though I told you that there were certain rides that we couldn't go on because I had Kendall with me, the first ride you wanted to ride was Boo Blaster. You were whining and wouldn't walk when I told you we couldn't go to that ride. When I told YJ about it, she told me to leave Kendall with her while we quickly went on Boo Blaster. I was so nervous because YJ would have 3 kids with her. Everything turned out ok though and when I went to find YJ, she had Kendall on a ride with her. I didn't think that Kendall could go on any rides, but as long as she could sit up on her own she could go on some of the rides. I still held onto her tightly though.

You rode with the Choi boys in the ferris wheel while mommy and Kendall sat in the other seat.

Kendall sitting all by herself.

She loved all the rides. She didn't cry once.

You in the car ride.

Kendall in the car ride.

I didn't bring a stroller for you because I had Kendall in her stroller.
However, YJ's stroller helped so much because you got so tired near the end. You just slid
right beside Asher and YJ strolled the 3 of you around the whole park. You also loved riding
the stroller. 

So cranky and tired near the end of the day…

Kendall was awake for most of the day, but by the end she passed out.

Aigoo aigoo.