Love you forever

Dear Aidan,

So the time has finally come. Tomorrow mommy heads back to work. I thought that I was going to be ok today, but I've been so sad inside. I went to a friend's baby shower today and the organizer of the shower asked all the guests to bring their favourite childrens book instead of a card. A couple of guests brought the book, Love You Forever, by Robert Munsch. That was one of my favourite books when I was a child, but I had forgotten the story. My friend, who was unaware of that book, wanted to read it and I sat beside her reading it with her. By the end of the book we were both in tears. She also has a little child so we were both so moved by that book. I guess the realization that I can't stop time to hold on to what you are now made me really sad. I spent 2 years with you- from inside my belly in October 2008 to now. I'm just sad that now that I return to work I won't see how you are spending each day like I used to. I won't be there if you are looking for me, or when you are crying when you hurt yourself from falling. As I write this tears are rolling down my eyes. I know I'll be ok once I go back to work, but I'm just filled with extreme guilt. When I look at my friend, YJ, and see that she can stay home and take care of her son I'm so envious. However, she was telling me today that she is envious of me. She doesn't have an option to work because she doesn't have enough work experience. I guess we can't always get what we want...



Please remember that I love you so much and I hope that I can give you all the love that I can give to you so that your childhood would be filled with happy memories.